A decade ago, I listed 54 random thoughts to commemorate my 54^th birthday. You can read those here: https://wordpress.com/post/thewavereturns.org/167 Today I turned 64, so I decided to see what spills out when I try this again. I haven’t reread my old list recently, so it’ll be interesting to see if there are any commonalities.

1. I now know the answer to the musical question, “Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I’m 64?” It’s no. It seems worth pointing out, however, that two of the four musicians who asked that didn’t make it to 64, three of the four changed partners not that long after they asked the question, and the last, Paul, lost his wife to cancer when they were relatively young. So for all five of us—John, Paul, George, Ringo, and me—the answer is no. Your milage may vary. 
2. I looked at the Billboard top ten this morning to see how out of it I am. I know pieces by five of the ten artists, but not the pieces that are currently popular. I’m in the fuddy duddy circle of the Venn diagram of cool.
3. If a little child talks to you, listen. If the child tells you he/she is giving you a flower when it’s really a balled up piece of paper, smell it and thank them for the flower. It’s your new favorite flower.
4. That’s true if anyone talks to you, really.
5. The image of us as water, and life being just a phase in the wave has impacted me greatly. I believe it more deeply than I can explain. Thanks to “The Good Place” writers for giving me a theology, finally, that works. 
6. Memorizing poems doesn’t show up on any tested academic standards, but it’s good for kids. Adults, too.
7. Organized Christianity has made so many wrong turns that it needs a total reset.
8. Now that I have Jewish friends, I love hearing about the family and friends based rituals they have. I love rites—rejecting the theology is not the same as rejecting the need for meaning and the search for the sacred.
9. I’ve forgotten how to play. 
10. Greed is not a virtue. Protecting greed should not be public policy.
11. If I were African-American, my experience of living in America would be completely different, even if that were the only factor of my life that changed–which isn’t really possible, but hypothetically. I recognize that, and I acknowledge that I can’t possibly understand all the ramifications of that fact. I should be working harder to create a society where that isn’t a reality.
12. When people ask how I’m going to “fill my time,” I hear it as if I’m just treading water till I die. 
13. Having friends in various age ranges is crucial to staying aware, connected, and active.
14. I’ve recently been told that I’m controlling—as in I like to be in control, especially in projects and events—but someone else in a different conversation the next day claimed that I’m too “loosey-goosey” about planning and should be more controlling. I accept both as true. 
15. I understand that my physical condition as I age depends on my commitment to exercise now. My failure to make the changes I need to make is determining my future–and I’m expecting to wake up tomorrow full of determination to change that.
16. When reading a book, deciding who to cast in a movie version is always a fun thought experiment.
17. You can tell everything important about a person based on what aspects of HBO’s “Game of Thrones” upset them most. Not knowing anything about “Game of Thrones” tells something important about them, too. (I first wrote “..is an equally important data point.” Yes, I really do talk like that sometimes.)
18. The last sentence used “them” to refer to a singular person, and it was easily understandable. Pronoun/antecedent agreement in common use has done that forever. Being pedantic doesn’t make you smarter. 
19. The Ring Theory of supporting grieving people applies to most of life. 
20. Despite all the problems it helps escalate in the world, I like social media. There’s such promise there if we choose wisdom. And yea, that’s a long shot. I’d bet against it, too.
21. If you think I’m a bit too pessimistic about society, you haven’t been paying attention to the deep disgust and despair I wrap in one-liners.
22. Making decisions about end of life issues and putting those choices in official documentation isn’t fun, but the failure to do so is selfish.
23. Han shot first.
24. The 80s bestseller “And Ladies of the Club” is the Netflix/HBO/Hulu/Prime series I want. I haven’t figured out the current perfect cast yet, but I will.
25. Our collective reaction to 9/11 did more damage to the US than the actual attacks did.
26. I am proud of the poetry and fiction I’ve written, but almost no one has read them. It seems too personal. 
27. Everytime I see Jack Black in something, I remember that I really like him. 
28. I would learn how to play again if I channeled my inner Jack Black…if I have one.
29. “Young Sheldon” is a far better show than “The Big Bang Theory.”
30. I think that my very limited singing ability isn’t due to aging and upper respiratory issues, but it’s a side effect of the other ways I’ve silenced myself.
31. Hoping that people will act differently than they have historically acted is futile. 
32. Hoping that you’ll act differently than you’ve historically acted is also futile; making a plan, dealing with emotions and patterns, and committing to change is not futile.
33. Some of the best moments in life involve campfires, bonfires, or candles.
34. My great-grandma told me I was going to die alone because I was too independent. I should have let her choose lottery numbers.
35. For too long, I believed that to be a musician, I needed to learn to read music. I read music well–three clefs, in fact–but I’m not a musician.
36. All levels and phases of education are riddled with racism, impacting the teaching, testing, expectation, and relationships of both teachers and students. 
37. Marigolds are magic. 
38. The best thing about being nearsighted with a severe astigmatism is the way lights look on a Christmas tree.
39. I spend more time considering whether the Barthes’ death of the author approach is valid in a modern context. (Side eye especially at JK Rowling, Joss Whedon, Marion Zimmer Bradley, and Sherman Alexi when I say that.)
40. “Boston Legal” is oddly still relevant in so many ways, and the ways that it is appalling and dated are frequently ways that tie in with points they were making–even the creepy, cringy parts are seemingly intended in context to be creepy and cringy.
41. I like class reunions because I like knowing the rest of the story. And plot twists are so fun.
42. My concept of God is more focused on the energy tying everything together than a traditional deity. 
43. You’re probably not going to find your lifelong best friend sitting at the cool kids’ table.
44. If I were pressed to pledge to a creed, it would be the poem When Death Comes by Mary Oliver.
45. Asking me to choose my favorite of anything is torture. 
46. People are whatever gender they say they are. People can love whoever they are blessed enough to have in their lives. My job is to celebrate others, not judge them.
47. This is the golden age of access to media. Capitalistic greed is going to mess it up, but right now, this moment, is golden. 
48. That is not throwing shade at the writers’ strike. They are not being treated fairly–and they aren’t the people making mega-profits who are going to sink the media.
49. The world doesn’t need more Marvel, DC, Star Wars, or Harry Potter movies/series for a decade or so. Star Trek…”Lower Decks” proves that the Star Trek franchise may still have the creative vision to keep going. For now. Maybe.
50. Preteen/teen girls wait and watch and talk about themselves about who has gotten their period, who hasn’t yet, who is showing signs. It’s a quiet, undercover topic. Death is like that for older people. Who’s died, who hasn’t, who is showing signs–exactly the same, but less whispering.
51. That’s probably because death happens to men. Imagine, if you can, a world where only women die…(I hear Rod Serling saying that. #signsIam64)
52. I am what 64 looks like, even if I tell myself differently.
53. Gardening is a sacred art, and gardeners are its clergy. No, I am not one of the sacred ordained.
54. If I were able to access my inner Moira Rose, I wouldn’t have a therapist.
55. The wide, fussy line between cultural appropriation and cultural appreciation is a topic I ponder–and it explains why I no longer wear some clothes I used to like. 
56. The McClellan/Siesel time of the School of Multiple Intelligences was the best. KnowledgeWorks “Small School” experiment was rife with philosophical and social issues, but MI was worthy. 
57. People can change, so be open to new evidence. 
58. If I were more ambitious, I would be more courageous. If I were more courageous, I would be more ambitious.
59. Arthurian legend is the ultimate story cycle, flowing into every genre, every theme. 
60. Book clubs are the modern Sunday School/Prayer meeting mash up for modern life. Churches are book clubs that got out of control.
61. My cats are not my babies. I am not a cat mama. Seriously.
62. Weeding is wrong because it’s killing something that is thriving. Despite having had many conversations with thoughtful people about the reasons weeding is part of being a good steward, I feel this deep in my soul.
63. Yes, I have occasionally killed spiders and mice. Not all the time, though. I feel bad about it, though.
64. Five years ago, I couldn’t have imagined the wonderful things ahead for me. Twenty years ago, I wouldn’t have believed they were possible. Now to summon that degree of faith in the next twenty years.